OK I had just woken up, turned on the computer and sipped my coffee.  I hear the familiar bark of Ramies, the huge Belgium Shepard owned (or I should say he owns) the neighbor up the block.. My he sounded close.  In fact, he was just outside my door.  I didn’t hear the familiar shriek RAMIES! As he was barking.  “Now what?” I open the front door and what do I see?  The upturned butt of a huge dog, as he tried to squeeze his bulk under my van to get to one of the feral (and sterile) cats that I feed.  Nancy is no where in sight and he is off leash, attempting to defy the law of conservation of matter.  Great!

In my knee length powder blue night shirt, with the yellow stars and moons wearing green flip flops out the door I go.  Pat the dogs rear to get his attention and grab his choke collar.  

Gad he is HUGE.  His head comes to the bottom of my rib cage.  I outweigh him, but not by much and I am not a small woman.  

I begin to pull him along up the block.  He balks and protests.  I am not sure if he snapped his jaws at me or at the cats, but I was having none of it.  I pulled hard on the collar, yanked him to my side and told him in no uncertain terms that we are a pack and I am the alpha.

He baulked a bit, but I was in no mood, being outside like this.  Up the block I took him.  Making sure he heeled.  Gad! He is so big you could ride him.  As soon as I rounded the corner I spotted Nancy, distraught with a leash in her hand.

The look of relief on her face could have lit up the bottom of the sea’s abyss.  I brought him to her saying “Guess who was trying to squeeze under my van to get better acquainted with the cats?”  She was thankful saying he wanted to play and the ducks tease him all the time.  (As if the ducks have a concept of teasing). Then she began to lecture him like you would lecture a 1 year old human, same tone.  I can see he feels the need to be alpha in her house.  Humanizing a dog is not respecting the dog for where millions of years and centuries of breeding have brought him.

“You didn’t see me like this.” I left her with as I scurried back to my house before someone spotted me like that.  She stopped long enough to say “I live in those things when I get home, so comfy.” before going back to lecturing the dog, who didn’t understand a word.

Meanwhile I managed to be spotted by 2 neighbors before making it safely to my door.  Sigh.