Today was a difficult day.  My sister’s service was held in Brick NJ.  I was up at 500 AM.  My brother was half an hour late.  Despite this and a few run-ins with traffic, we managed to get to the funeral home just after 9:00 AM

Her casket was closed by her request.  She looked like a corpse in life and didn’t think any amount of work could make her look better. There was a large picture on her casket and a ton of flowers.

There was also a large screen where a slide show was being played continuously with music.  It was hardest when the theme to Titanic was sung by Selene.  In almost all those photo’s Dee was with family.  I had to take half a Xanix, to keep myself together.  Even my brother said that the fact that he will never see her again was brought home by that slide show.

After a morning of mingling and sharing memories my nephew had to get the priest for the  service.  Everyone was told 9-11 and it was after 11 when he brought the priest in, after many people had left of course.

Then there was the drive to Flower Hill Cemetery.  The grave was already dug.  She wanted to be buried with our father and since he was buried very deep because it was assumed that Mom would go there, but Mom wanted a mausoleum later on.  Dee was close with our father.

We had gotten 3 pleasant surprises at the Cemetery.  One of my sister’s childhood friends Laraine, (also stricken with a terminal illness) and her daughter showed up for the service.

After the service was over a car pulled up.  It was our cousins Joe & Maryann.  I haven’t seen them in over 10 years.  The reunion was short, we had to get back on LI because of my brother’s coal stove.  It needs attention to stay lit. He had never left it so long and restarting it takes hours with a usual call to the fire department by the neighbors. I just hope they had the opportunity to have lunch after we left.

We are all still in shock.  Our loss is still sinking in. Me, I still feel as empty as a cenobite. Like a piece has been torn from my heart.  it's not as bad as when my mother died, but pretty bad.

I will miss her.